the man's man.

For those of you who have not heard, recently i enlisted in the US Army. Now you may say, "no. highly unlikely." But it's true. To our left is a picture of me as a man's man because i am now the Man's man. If you were wondering, yes, i was over the weight requirements. But with hard work i've brought myself down about 8 pounds and counting. so if you'd like to challenge me then bring it.

the lost photo shoot

I'm sure you remember when i was a robot.

The Rise and Fall of Evil Brent and the Spiders from Mars

Here's a face we all know and love. One day last week, jessica went out and left me all alone. after watching tv for a while and eating all i could find that was easy to make i decided to play with my photo shop. the plan was, at first to give brian burgess a mustache. thinking better of it, though i doubted he'd ever see it, i decided that my father in law brent was a better choice. It didnt stop at a mustache obviously. i couldnt resist. so now the world has evil brent. Enjoy.

A Mustache to Remember

Didn't think i'd ever blog again, huh? Me neither.
Here is a picture of me with my freshly cut mustache. Why do you have a mustache you ask as if i were already weird enough. Well its for something called Movember. During the month of November, go to us.movember.com and register to grow a mustache to support the research to cure prostate cancer. Now i highly doubt i'll raise any money but i needed a good reason to try my mustache out. I've really wanted one for quite some time. Here are some people who I've idolized for sometime.

1. Tom Selleck, of course. If i could My mustache would look like this. Unfortunately it doesnt. :(
















2. Jesse Hughes from the Eagles of Death Metal. I think my mustache is looking more like this. Not only is this band a personal favorite of Clive and mine but his mustache is as well.














3. Last but not least, Pedro. Because i wish i could say i grew my mustache in a couple of days.













Anyway, enjoy this blog because i'm not sure when i will get to another one.

one for the ladies

now i know most of my readers are dylan fans but i felt this is just to good to not post.

When i was a young boy scout camp was a big thing for me. every day at dinner time during that week in hahobas the staff would sing songs as we walked through the line to get our food. On song i particularly enjoyed was Mountain Dew. For the longest time i thought it was a song made up specifically for camp. I was very wrong. Here is Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan Performing it on the Johnny Cash Show.

today in mild dissaproval

Today, while I was slinging lattes at yuppies, a girl maybe the age of
18 came in. She was small and white and wore a pair of trendy black
framed glasses and a not so trendy legend of zelda shirt. While taking
one of my many breaks, as im prone to do on account of my salary, I
watched her sitting at a table alone talking on the phone. She ordered
nothing. She reached for a pot which held chalk in it and started to
draw on the table which happened to be made out of a thick sturdy
chalkboard. I sipped my chocolate milk and tried to see what she would
scrawl on my tables that I would have to clean later. Finally an anime
lad holding a tennis racket appeared before her in many different
colors. A coffee house work of art. She left with out a word leaving me
to eavesdrop on other peoples conversations, none of which were
interesting.a few hours later she returned. This time she ordered an
orange juice. She dissapeared again and the next time I saw her she
emerged from the shelves with a stack of manga and seated herself at
another different chalkboard table. She laughed to herself as she read
them and sipped her orange juice. We have a policy where you gotta buy
the books before drinking a drink around them but my boss said nothing
so I said nothing. She left after about an hour. Or so I thought. After
she finished her oj and manga, she proceeded to draw on the next
chalkboard table. Apparently axel and roxus are bffs according to the
table. She walked out the front door and I followed casually behind her.
She had moved to an out door chalkboard and filled that one with her
white-girl-who-wants-so-bad-to-be-asian anime drawings. She did this
four more times. I just sighed everytime. Finally she left and I refused
to wash it off.
There is no moral to this. Simply an odd story.

T.I. Hatch ventures into the unknown

that is a picture of the unknown to me.

its funny how a place that was home not two months ago seems foreign when youre out of your element.

im not used to being alone. today was the first day on travis' journey to find employment.

i will use my time alone to chronicle this adventure and one day sell the movie rights.

i am indeed lonely despite the company of my brothers and my dearest friends.

i miss my wife and my boys.

today, i simply got settled. caught up with old friends and started a bad habit again.

i had a coke and i felt terrible after and had to have a huge glass of water because i can no longer handle my caffeine.

anyway i will leave you now.

i only have these words by elton john:

i miss the earth so much
i miss my wife
its lonely out in space

until next time, this is your dear friend, Travis, saying keep it fresh.

incredible album

Previously today i reviewed wilco's newest album. but i am pleased to say that i have found an album that tops it. I still love wilco but Dan Auerbach of the black keys released an album back in february that has me begging for more. his indie folk rock satiates my taste for great music on more than one level.

just have a sample.

heres a live version of the first song. its not the best quality but you get the picture.

album of the week - Wilco (The Album)

Today i'd like to tell you about a new album i just got. It may benefit no one, but just the same, it has me captivated. Wilco (The Album)


This band has been on the edge of mainstream and experimental, ready to tip to either side at any given moment.

Key tracks are: Bull Black Nova, You and I, and Deeper Down.

Bull Black Nova is written from the point of view of a man who has just killed his girlfriend. Morbid, yes. But the instrumentals are phenomenal and his vocals are flawed perfectly.

You and I features canadian indie folk singer Feist on the first duet ever on a Wilco album. This song is about a man and a woman trying top keep their relationship together. very good song. Itunes has said that if this song doesnt make your Best of 2009 playlist then you have a heart of stone.

Deeper Down is just a song i like. i really have no interperetation for it.

The whole album is fantastic and you should listen to it even if you dont enjoy this type of music.

If you do happen to like it i would reccomend The Crane Wife album by the Decemberists and Oh, Inverted World by the Shins.

"greetings from your teacher" - ancient pencil proverb

Yesterday we went to dierkes lake with my two youngest brothers and the hopes. Here is a picture of it (zoom for better look). thats right. my family is in town. next saturday is my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary and we will be celebrating with them in idaho falls.
thats all i have to say to now
actualllly, you cant call me on my phone cuz its off. cuz i have no money.












what a terrible post.

behold! the goldburger!

Growing up, my bff, Matt, my brother Trevor, and i would hang out with a couple guys down the street, Robby and Andy. Now Andy was a big Asian fellow and his weight and love of food was often a hot topic that even he joined in. During the summer time it was commonplace to see Andy chasing the ice cream truck down the street in hopes of getting his favorite frozen treat, the cookie ice cream sandwich. On an especially hot afternoon, we were all sitting on the curb waiting for the ice cream man to drive by.

"I just want an ice cream sandwich!" Andy whined. And it was there the Goldburger was created. During that time, there was a wrestler named Goldberg and we thought it would be the funniest thing if he made an extreme WWF cookie ice cream sandwich called the Goldburger. Going even further, we thought it funnier that Andy would be in the commercial for it, dancing around with a Goldburger while lots of Goldbergs danced with him. Which inspired me to create this picture on my new photoshop.Now this is not an actual picture of Andy but it more than suffices. Andy was Filipino i think...

Please enjoy.

you really spent ALL that money?

Today while watching the $100,000 dollar pyramid a commercial came on that starred lee majors. I thought it would be something good that a rich man like himself would be promoting. Like a charity. One that would give children bionic limbs or something. No. It was for hearing aids. Lee majors bionic rechargable hearing aids. Which then led me to say to myself, 'what is he doing? where did all that money go?' i mean as far as i know he didnt have a huge drug problem or anything. and its not like he created this. he slapped his name on it to make money. which im all for if its for a good cause. but lee majors selling hearing aids just makes me sad. HE WAS THE 6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN! HE MARRIED FARRAH FAWCETT! he doesnt need to stoop down to GSN! im going to start a foundation for dumb celebrities who dont know what a savings acount is. basic budget classes and savings advice. investments. such and such. and it will be called "the foundation for celebrities who suck with money". the first celebs i want are lee majors, ed mcmahon, and mc hammer.

idiots.

anyway

ive been having reoccuring dreams staring alan alda. meaning?

from the diaries of travis hatch

I found this small journal entry scrawled on a small piece of paper and found it humourous enough to share.

5/27/2009

We went to Brent's graduation today and i was really offended that they didn't ask me to sing Dylan's 'Forever Young'.

Pictured: Travis and Sarah sweating it up at brents graduation

False advertising and the American way

You know, as much as I really can't stand the movie shrek there are some fine words of wisdom. Primarily from donkey of all characters. Eddie Murphy, in my opinion, is a huge sellout. Ripping off bad sandler movies and putting a black spin on them. He hit his peak with his role in mulan. But I digress. While walking down a path to rescue the princess, donkey starts a well written jag about how much he loves parfaits and nobody is gonna refuse a parfait. Which brings us to the point of this blog. Parfaits. Have you ever been to McDonald's and had their 'parfait'? Garbage. It consists of fruit and yogurt. That is not a parfait. A parfait is cake, custard, fruit filling, and whipped cream. I can easily go to the store and get a yoplait for 25 cents. That is the exact same thing. For like a 5th the price. And it's better. Because you think to yourself 'oh heck yeah. I'm bout to have a parfait.' But then you're sorely disappointed to have health food. The only health I want in my parfait is the sugared up raspberry filling. It's the same filling found in a Bismark donut. Delicious. So, McDonald's, stop calling it a parfait. It's not. That is false advertising. But then again do you really expect quality from McDonald's? No. Which should be their slogan.'Come on. We're McDonald's.' Or 'you get what you pay for.' Or 'our burgers are made from pigeons.' All of those are accurate. I mean, there's this ad that McDonald's put out maybe a year ago and it was a sign that said 'we use 100% beef', except that the '0's' were cleverly blocked by 2 big macs. (pictured below) Correctly stating that McDonald's uses 1% beef. Anyway. That's enough corporate slander for today. Tune in next time for 'Travis hates most things'.

Has anyone ever noticed?

Is it just me or do yanni and frank zappa look like they could be fraternal if not even identical twins?

Yanni (pictured above) and Zappa (below)

Uncanny? Yes.

It really could just be the greek heritage.


and the mustaches.


and on that note.....


heres ted nugent with a mustache.

Heres how travis has been feeling lately.

Daily, i will open a my web browser to blog and nothing comes out. How fitting that when i am most deppressed i feel like writing most, yet i have no inspiration. and anything i write creatively i throw away because i consider it no good. that picture well describes the mood ive been in the past couple weeks. The neon drew her last breath, i am jobless, and brent left me in the middle of nowhere. cant say i blame him. i know this is where we're supposed to be and i should be happy knowing that things will work out for the best but i cant help feeling useless. you would think that having no job would be amazing. not the case. because i cant relax and live the life of luxery while also in a state of poverty. i wish i had more to say but typing has sapped the rest of my will power.

i will now go lie in the road.

take this in the spirit it is intended and not as a cry for help.

the idaho sessions

Recently, we've moved to hailey idaho as some of you may know. actually everyone who reads my blog knows this on account of i live with half of my demographic. anyway. brent and i have been going on some great adventures. specifically to find Arizona's. they make some great drinks. like...orangeade, strawberry kiwi, watermelon, and mango. our first embark into the idaho wilderness was in lame old bellevue. the fat younger sister of hailey.

This is the bowling alley. which proved fruitless.Here we find guffys. our eventual hot spot for arizonas.

We also hit the splash n dash but in the wake of dissapointment i forgot to take a picture.

Outside of guffys with our bounty.

We went to guffys twice. once to check if they had any and then we came back after everywhere else sucked. while in there we discovered a fat, budding convict. he was there both times we went there and it was obvious that he was shoplifting. on our way out we saw him peddling away with a can of pizza pringles grasped in his fat little hooves. brent and i decided to follow him and give him a good scare. we eventually lost him after a few blocks. and that was that.

today on our quest for arizonas we went to guffys once again after we discovered the atkinsons in bellvue was closed. it was there the white trash cashier, bless his heart, informed us that all the hot food was free because it was soon to be thrown out. we loaded up a paper bag with it and bid the ugly man a good night. on the way home we celebrated our victory with chicken wings and some taquitos. the good thing about wings in the car is throwing the bones out the window. dont tell.

i got a job at the hardware store.yeah thats me.


im just too good lookin.

worst guest ever

i listen to adam carolla on a daily basis. part of my morning routine. get up, eat, carolla. i think he is a genius and i agree with almost all of his convictions. but this morning i was catching up on the podcast and i came across monday's show with mike tyson. terrible. mike tyson is a great fighter. sure. but he is not an intelligent man and its hard for him to hold an interesting conversation. for those of you who dont listen to the show, donny is one of adams oldest friends and he is manning the computer during the podcasts. hes been playing around with intro music and dropping clips into the show. tyson is in the middle of making a documentary and so donny was playing clips of the film. i dont know if it was video and so everyone in carolla's man cave could see what was happening but for the people listening at home it was boring. it was bad audio of old archival footage. and to top it off...it was 23 minutes long. even carolla's very first podcast was 45 minutes. adam had just got done heaping praise on tyson and tyson literally stood up and started ripping the mic from his shirt.

I mean seriously. the producer of the tyson movie was there. why couldnt tyson leave and adam could talk to the other guy. i cant remember his name. but regardless. anything at that point would have been more interesting. it was terrible. if you are going to start listening please dont start with that one. it does not do the show justice.

anyway. we're moving today.

awesome.

thursdate with nbc

last night was thursday night. or as i like to call it "thursdate with nbc". on thursday nights, jessica and i bask in TV's warm glowing warming glow and enjoy two of our favorite shows, the office and 30 rock. well last night was especially amazing because not only was there 2 episodes of the office and a 30 rock but parks and recreation came to thursdate with nbc. for those of you who dont know what that is, parks and recreation is a new mockumentary style show made by the producers of the office. originally set to be an office spin off this show is all its own. amy poehler has described the two shows as fraternal twins except one is really fat. i found the pilot episode to be full of office style humor which makes it a good candidate for my top 5 tv shows list. it wasnt all i expected but what pilot really is? i felt the same way when watching season 1 of the office. funny show but there was a lot more developing to do. im confident that within the next few episodes it will be more show than i could have hoped for. anyway thats it.

this movie looks hillarious

i dont know why anyone would make this. but i thought at least a few people would find it funny.