Wednesday, July 30, 2008

smokin cigarettes and watching captain kangaroo

As you may well know, I will be 20 tomorrow. 20 years old. In my 20
years of experience, I have just now realized something. Birthday disgusting. Allow me to explain. You bring it out with candles
lit on it. And the person who's birthday it is will blow out the
candles. Spitting. All over the cake. And everyone eats it. Eats
spit-cake. That's one of the grossest things I've ever heard. And I just
thought of it. I have eaten 20 years worth of spit-cake. What other food
do people find it acceptable to spit on and then eat? None. Why is this
an exception? It's not. That's why, from now on, I will not be having
candles on my cake. Nor will jessica or thomas. I can't stop others from
doing it. I just won't eat it. I will only have ice cream. If they don't
have ice cream I will throw rocks, that I keep in a satchel at my hip,
at the birthday boy/girl. And laugh at them. "You eat spit-cake!" I will
yell. And then I will run from the house.

Also. Everytime I come into the room, my uno cards are all over the
floor by my bed. Why is this? Why can't my uno cards stay in order? I am

nice to them. I just wish I knew why people won't leave my uno cards
alone. Here is a picture.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I can't handle gas anymore.

Im going to grow a large beard And ride my bike off into the sunset. Ill be like a bike cowboy. And ill have a gourd full of mt dew. And that will nourish me. And ill live in the woods. Or point defiance park. In the meadow. And ill get a lawn chair. And a notebook. Aaaand a pencil. And write a book on my adventures. "Today I saw a squirrel." Captivating. I can see myself listening to a lot of crosby stills and nash. That's just music you listen to when you're a bearded radical. Or a hobo. I fall under both catagories. If your interested, feel free to send me a letter. Just put it under a rock near 5 mile drive. Every once in a while ill venture out to get supplies. All the while I continue to think this a good idea. Then reality hits. Jess and thomas would never be hobos. Well. Jess wouldn't. So I guess ill stay home. But I am going to ride my bike more. Once I get one. I have a prospect one. 2000 miles away. Saturday im thinking ill pick it up. And then my journey begins. Ill go to the library...and stuff. Read books. Heck im on vacation right now. Ill go to a jazz club.

Monday, July 28, 2008

new to the game

Im a little slow on the uptake when it comes to this blog situation. Prompted by my wife, I've decided to create one in efforts to improve myself as a writer and/or person. Im looking for feedback. Be it good or bad. Id like to take this time to put up on of my personal favorite short stories. I wrote it when gas prices had infuriated me beyond the normal level. It's about a guy named charlie. It's not very long but it's a start. I think it makes my point. Sort of. Let me know what you think.

By T.I. Hatch

Charlie sat the passenger seat of his corolla, resting his feet on the ground of the 76 near his house. The numbers on the gas pump rang higher and higher. Head in his hands, he started to think about when he was in high school and he could fill his tank with 15 bucks. The pump read 63.76. 63 dollars and 76 cents. He opened his glove compartment and pulled out an old revolver .45. He looked at it closely. Studied the intricate designs that covered the gun. It was heavy in his hands. He turned up the radio. 'Ramble on' by led zeppelin played. He put the gun to the side of his head, resting his finger on the trigger, he thought about what this would cost him.

He had been on prozac for almost a year now. In that year his father died and his girlfriend left him for his exbest friend who happened to run over charlies dog as he drove away. He had been strong this long. Why quit because of a simple matter of expensive gas. His mom was still alive and he had a decent job managing a bakery. He put the gun back into the glove compartment. He replaced the pump before walking around to get into the drivers seat. He pulled out onto the main road and was hit and killed by a drunk driver.

He had just wasted all that money on gas.